1. As a college student there wasn't much I wouldn't do for a string of plastic mardi gras beads. In retrospect, I'm completely amazed at the power those necklaces wielded over drunk co-eds. What the fuck am I going to do with all that purple, green, and gold after Fat Tuesday? You would think they were a new form of currency. If I could use them to pay rent, that'd be a different story. No doubt, very many questionable photos would surface on my campaign trail.
2. I can't debate... at least not about anything politically relevant. If they changed the topics from foreign affairs to the best types of beer for summer or why Astoria is better than Hoboken, just call me Madame President.
3. My relationship situations need not be publicly broadcast. I would never survive a lifestyle in which I'd be forced to adhere to the rules of sex scandal management.
4. I'm way too emotional to be in control of an entire country...or state...or sometimes even my own life. I'd probably have a very difficult time staying calm during nuclear arms talks, especially while PMSing.
5. I have a hard enough time choosing an outfit for a Saturday night, let alone picking something to wear for a televised speech in front of the entire nation.* Withstanding public scrutiny is not, and will never be one of my strengths.
*America elects its first black president and
Really?
No comments:
Post a Comment