I Guess This is Growing Up?

In case you hadn't noticed my Facebook status in the past 24 hours, last night was my semi-annual cleaning of the pearly whites at the dentist. After this experience, I've concluded that the only thing worse than a dentist with halitosis, is a dentist with halitosis AND a sinus infection. The rhinoceros who checked up on my hygienist's work breathed so heavily through her mouth that I kid you not when I say I nearly up-chucked in her face. Anyhoodle, the horrors associated with maintaining my perfect smile are not the point of this post. (If you're looking for a hilarious perspective on the dentist, read this.)

My dentist's office is inconveniently located 37 miles from my apartment in Manhattan and not close to any major forms of public transportation. As such, I usually buy my parents dinner in exchange for their taxi services and then spend the night at Chateau Hacker on Long Island.

On this particular trip to the homestead it occurred to me that I haven't lived in my parents' house for almost 3 years (not counting the 3+ years away at college). As a result, my bedroom still looks the way it did when I was a senior in high school. (Not to say that it's been wholly untouched - a few upgrades were made to accommodate family from Germany - but the majority of the decor remains the same).


Sadly, I've come to the conclusion that the purpose of my next trip to LI will be a massive purge of the past. Having recently celebrated a brand new decade and my closer-to-30-than-20-birthday, I think it's safe to say goodbye to a ton of junk circa 1999. In case you're interested (which I assume you are if you're reading my blog), please see below for a brief list of my toss/keep items.

Toss: Just about everything I wore in highschool/college.
This includes but is not limited to:
- my "lucky" jeans that I will never ever be able to squeeze my ass into again. - the countless tee shirts I designed for graffiti parties, beer golf, and other team drinking events.
- the high-top sneakers that I absolutely HAD to have for JV Basketball (despite the fact that I had a terrible jump shot and zero aspirations for WNBA.)

Keep: My Romanette uniform (because you just never know when you'll need a short pleated skirt.)

Toss: Trophies, Plaques & Certificates.
Yes, I was a classic overachieving brown-noser. However, I'm fairly certain that being captain of my middle school volleyball team or winning second place in an FBLA word-processing competition aren't achievements that I will one day need to display in my corner office.

Keep: Diplomas and yearbooks, duh. (These should be saved even if you went to the University of Phoenix or looked like a complete tool in your yearbook photo.)

Toss: Junk jewelry
While I realize this doesn't apply to (most) of my male audience, I think my lady friends will agree that the contents of a jewelry box is often overlooked during a cleaning sesh. I personally, move the box from one side of the dresser to the other and simply dust underneath without ever looking inside. Big mistake.

Last night I found no less than 25 puka shell necklaces (that I begged my parents to buy me on every single tropical vacation) and an equal number of horribly tarnished giant hoop earrings (pretty sure the bf is psyched I'm over that phase). Regardless, I think it's safe to say I will NEVER wear either those accessories again, ever.

Keep: My custom designed highschool/college rings.

Toss: My weathering stationary collection.
I think it was around 3rd grade that I thought to my self, "Man! A sticker collection would be SO cool!" (In retrospect I recognize that I was not even in the realm of cool when thinking this). However, at the time I couldn't get my hands on enough Lisa Frank, and as I grew, my obsession expanded to anything I could purchase at Staples of Office Max.

That said, I think it's finally time that I discard the lined paper and matching envelopes that I used to write letters to my pen pals. (After all, it is 2010... I can probably just find them on Facebook, right?)

Keep: Post-its, sharpies, and scrapbook supplies.

Toss: Unnecessary drinking paraphernalia.
- The funnel from Seaside Heights after prom.
- The shot glasses from the Bahamas.
- The Mardi Gras beads from the infamous frat party of 2004.
- The plastic yard glass from Senor Frog's Cancun (that I actually opted to pack instead of a pair of flip flops in my overstuffed suitcase on the way home- clearly I had my priorities straight).

Keep: The ridiculously awesome beer steins from my trip to Knetzgau.

Toss: Pogs.
This short-lived fad of circle shaped cardboard will never be worth money. (But if I'm being honest, I probably won't be able to part with the slammers.)

Keep: Crimping iron.
Because chicks can't resist an 80's party!

In the meantime, I think I'll have to start paying my parents a monthly fee for using my old bedroom as my off-site storage.

Also, I promise I'll blog more when ski season is over. Thanks for the complaints, er, encouragement. ;)