Racism, Prostitution, and Balloon Boy

TGIF loyal readers. I've got a terrible wine hangover and am miserable at work today, however, at the request of my sister I'm gonna go ahead and post some nonsense to (hopefully) entertain this afternoon.


While my blog is (and will continue to be) NY-centric, some crazy shit has happened elsewhere this week that deserves a bit of attention.


According to the Associated Press, there is a white man in New Orleans serving as Justice of the Peace who refuses to marry interracial couples. In the same breath he insists he is not racist. (Perhaps he should consult a dictionary for the definition of racism).

The following excerpts are truly classic:
"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

WOW, he lets them use the bathroom?! If I were one of his "piles of black friends" I would politely decline his generous offer to use the bathroom, and instead urinate on his sofa. How's that for Southern Hospitality, Jim Crow?

He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society. He is worried that the children would suffer.

While I disagree with every one of this idiot's opinions about interracial marriage, I do believe that more people should be concerned for the well being of children in today's world. There are certain individuals who should NOT be responsible for another human life...or a hamster, or a cell phone.

At the risk of beating a dead horse (which I think is a graphic and sad phrase), an incident like yesterday's balloon boy stunt should have never happened.

Who are Falcon's fucked up hippie parents anyway? Obviously, their first mistake was naming their kid Falcon. Are his siblings Eagle and Hawk? How stoned were they at the hospital? (Apologies in advance if anyone named Falcon stumbled upon my blog and is now offended.) Secondly, what on earth would possess this family to have an over sized Mylar balloon just chilling in their backyard. A grill? Sure. A balloon? Not so much. Where is child protective services when you need them?

When I get my law degree, I'm going to make damn sure that there is strict legislation banning media whores from pimping out their children for attention.

Speaking of whores, gotta give a shout out to Germany for their concern for the environment. Apparently, a brothel in Berlin is offering discounted rates for their 'green' customers.

One bordello, hoping to stave off falling demand in the economic crisis, has begun offering discounts to customers who pedal bicycles to the door. To qualify, customers must show the receptionist either a bicycle padlock key or proof they used public transit to get to the neighborhood. That knocks the price for 45 minutes in a room, for example, to euro65 from euro70.

I'd like to call the House of Desire and share my ideas for a marketing campaign:

Ride a bike to ride a broad.

Want love for your weener? Think greener.

Take the bus to screw a huss(y).

Want to nail some cheaper ass? Show us your bus pass!