Surviving a hangover at the office

My dear little sister, a 2009 grad, has recently started her first big girl job. It should go without saying that I'm uber proud of her for managing to score a full-time position in this economic climate. Even more proud of her for turning to me to answer all the tough questions in life.

It's Monday morning and she's dragging ass. Monday mornings suck. Monday mornings suck infinitely more with a hangover. A hangover that, during football season, is almost inevitable.



Lucky for her, I've had quite a bit of experience masking my less than lucid existence.



I'm not even going to address the fact that we should all know better than to get completely hammered on a night before a day at the office. Once the bad decisions have been made all you can do is damage control.



Hopefully you took all the proper precautions before passing out for the night. (Tall glass of water, ibuprofen, and some carbs.) You should also set your alarm for the latest possible minute you can wake up and still be on time for work. This is not the day to try to wake up early to make lunch before you leave the house. The more sleep you get, the better off you'll be.

1. At the risk of stating the obvious, wake up and take a shower. I usually shower at night after the gym, except when I've gone out drinking. A nice hot shower helps wash away the stench of booze likely eminating from your pores.



2. On your way to work stop at a Dunkin Donuts. Get yourself a large coffee, a sausage egg and cheese (SEC), and a dozen doughnuts*



*No, I do not think that 12 sugary doughnuts will make your day any better, but if you bring them for your co-workers they will a) appreciate your genorisity and b) be on enough of a sugar high to pick up the slack for all the work you won't be doing.

3. Don't let on that you've engaged in debauchery. It's not like you'll get fired for being a bit fuzzy, but it's just better to create an image of responsibility. If your eyes are red, claim it's your allergies (even if you don't have any) If you're exhausted, confess that your allergy meds make you drowsy (even if you don't take any). You might even get a little sympathy for being such a trooper and not calling in sick.



4. Lay low. Depending on the nature of your job, spend today working on any brainless tasks you might have. Do not undertake a new complicated project because it's very likely that you'll fuck it up.



5. Treat yourself to comfort food for lunch. I'm convinced that pizza is a cure-all. Also delicious on days like this are cheeseburgers, waffle fries, and mac & cheese.

6. Go straight home after work, resist the urge to booze for MNF, throw on your favorite pajamas, and crawl directly in to bed. Tomorrow's another day.